I don’t know where to start writing. For years I’ve been in a transformation, which I didn't ask for, it just happened. I guess it started with my father’s stroke, but it became accelerated when I became a mom and motherhood was met with resistance from my own beliefs (which are also society’s beliefs). I was given my store at the same time that I became a mom. At that moment in my life I was surrounded by a lot of people, who had a lot of outward motivations, like wearing designer stuff, looking like instagram models, and NEVER giving up a career for children or your family. Little did I know that I was dealing with my ego self and not my true being, I was one of those people.
It all came crumbling down when I started to have a lot of success and money. I was able to open a boutique in the best mall of America, followed by an offer to open a second boutique at the biggest mall in America. It was all a dream, but every day I felt like my world collapsed and my ego identity started to crumble since I’m always someone who is very true to herself. I remember a particular day that I was given the keys to my biggest boutique yet, and in the car I had a huge panic attack. I felt completely disconnected to my family, I remember telling my husband: I don’t really want this success, but somehow I also want it… That was the first time my ego disconnected from my own self. How could I want something and not really want it at the same time?
At that time I started to realize that I have always been a creative person. In school I excelled in art, and constantly carried a sketchbook with me. I also was on the look for ways to channel my creativity, like for example I took up knitting, I laugh now because that was just my inner self trying to find a way to express herself. I’ve always been a designer, an artist, a writer, and a protector of the planet, but I was so focused in making money that I started to forget all of that, and that endless circle was hard to leave. I remember that I used to sell clothes so fast that I didn't even have time to find new designers that I loved so I had to find stuff that I didn’t even love to fill up a store that sold full inventory in seconds. I prayed to G-d to please make the mall say that they didn’t want me there anymore, and even though I really didn’t want it, my ego cried when I had to close, even though it was temporary and I could open again anytime I wanted, my ego cried because it didn’t want to let go of success, money and what other’s thought. I also remember how hard it was on the first days to let go and rest, after months of running up and down, how hard was it to actually liberate myself and rest!
I’ve learned that children, although society made us think that they are here to serve our purpose, are here to teach us to become our true self again. Just take a look at how children stop and look a leaf with full attention, how they pay the greatest respect to the present moment. That’s what my children taught me, to be present, to be true to myself, to listen to my heart and follow my true path. I’m thankful because I realized this truth when they are still small and i can be a better mom and a better human because of this. It was the perfect moment for myself to find my path and honor my children.
This has been one of the greatest lessons of my life, and yes, I would love to have a store again, but I would only have it when I truly want it, when I can handle it, when I can sell consciously made products in a way that makes me feel that I’m doing something good for the planet and for the world. I don’t want to be part of the unconscious circle of fast fashion, which takes advantage of people, and destroys the planet.
That’s why my collection means so much to me. I gave birth to it to come back to myself, to my true self. As my collection finally makes way to Miami, with this story, I want to invite you to join us for a breakfast presentation of the collection. I will be posting very soon these events on my social media, here and via email! So please stay tuned, and If you have any suggestions on date or times I’m open to hear them all!
Thank you as always for reading a part of my heart and can’t wait to show you all the details behind my collection and my story with more detail and in person so you have an opportunity to ask questions and possibly get inspired to live to your own potential!